Eighteen Reasons Why

Hey, gang.


Given that the weekend is here, let’s see if we can marshal our forces for a good cause. Yes, let’s think
a moment…

Now before all of you think that I have somehow morphed into some incarnation of the late Bill Scott (yes, the former voice of “Dudley Do-Right” and “George of the Jungle” and creator of the legendary “Rocky and Bullwinkle Show”), let’s try to remember that this is supposed to be the season of giving.

(Jesus, that’s pretty sappy. Even for yours truly!)

Be that as it may, let’s think of 18 reasons why it pays to do good deeds. (Now I know all about the platitude that says “No good deed goes unpunished,” but for today’s purposes, let’s set that aside.)

Now we just need a header. Hmmm…

How about:


(And let’s make like D. Letterman and go with them in ascending order.)

18. Too many people just shit on too many other people for no good reason.

17. In the amount of time it takes to decide whether or not you want to do a good thing for someone else, you could have already done several good things.

16. For all you windmill-chasing dudes out there, guys like Don Quixote usually get the girl.

15. For all you angels of mercy and other Molly Pitcher-types, it’s my belief that every man alive secretly lusts
after you.

14. Giving is receiving.

13. Leo Durocher was a great leader and manager, but that “nice guys finish last” crap is so late-1940s.

12. Long Island, NY’s own The Good Rats reminded us back in 1978 not to “…hate the ones who bring you rock and roll… “Amen to that, and ROCK ON, MEN!

11. If Glinda, The Good Witch of the North and Momba, The Wicked Witch of the West got into a fight, in my heart, I know that Glinda would simply kick her ass.

10. Good ‘n Plenty is a seriously awesome old-school candy. (To clear up any doubt, run to the candy counter – or any big-box supermarket – when you can find the time.)

9. It’s just so much easier to root for the good guys in history, literature, and movies. So, why even give the bad seeds any consideration at all. The hell with ’em!

8. If no good deed really does goes unpunished, don’t bother telling George Bailey; he won’t even listen.

7. Ever wonder why The Cars went with “Let the GOOD Times Roll” as an eventual-hit song title?

6. If someone is either “good as gold” or “bad to the bone,” which option seems to have more upside?

5. There was an old newscaster named Gabriel Heater who started off every broadcast with “Evening, people. There’s good news tonight.” And from what I’ve heard, based on the type of guy Heater was, if the news was bad on a particular night, he’d often make some good stuff up, just to give people hope.

4. Can you imagine The Beach Boys singing an impactful surfing song without the word “good” in the title?

3. Goody-goody-gum drops is just too much fun to avoid not saying, at least, a few times per/year.

2. An expression like “good riddance” can easily be flipped on its head to suddenly make everything right!

1. And the number one reason why “good deeds” simply rock?…

Because it’s just supposed to be that way, people.

Please take that into the weekend, and remember one very important thing:

We’re all in this together.


PS So what’s with that pic of me sweating my ass off, holding a tire iron? A mother and daughter had a flat tire on one of the hottest days of the summer a few years back. What was I ‘gonna do? Leave them there? (-:
Manana, friends.


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